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therumjournalsTitle: Birth / Date Night / Visit Home
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
therumjournals
Fandom: Star Trek RPF
Pairing: Chris/Zach
Word Count: 1,600
Rating: PG-13
Description: Taking care of the kids turns out to be the easiest part.
Coffee Fix 'verse series and timeline
Warnings: angsty, ovary-melting, and out of order
A/N: Seriously, don’t blame me if you get pregnant just by reading the first part of this. I’m gonna have quadruplets by the time I’m finished writing this thing.
A/N2: Icon fromewinfic because it was just too perfect.
Birth
“Oh my god, oh my god, this is crazy. Zach, are we insane?”
Zach stopped pacing for a second to look at Chris. “Yes. We’re insane.”
“No! You’re not supposed to agree with me! You’re supposed to say it’s going to be okay, we’re going to be fine, we’re going to be great at this.”
At least, that had been the pattern over the past seven months, ever since the adoption agency had called to let them know. Chris would have a minor breakdown just walking through the diaper aisle, and Zach would Google diaper reviews and print out the results from Consumer Reports. Zach would stand paralyzed in the nursery, looking helplessly between the seafoam green and mint color strips and Chris would pull them gently out of his hand and say fuck it, they were going with pistachio like they’d already decided, and Zach wasn’t allowed to go to Home Depot anymore.
But now, at the key moment, as they waited nervously, Zach pacing and Chris fidgeting in his seat, they were at a loss. Zach pulled out his phone just as Chris started dialing his, and they smiled at each other across the room as their conversations began the same way – “Mom, tell me I can do this.”
When they hung up they looked at each other and laughed and Chris stood up and they hugged and then the doctor came out and told them “Okay, it’s time.”
*
“Who wants to hold him first?” the nurse asked, and Chris nudged Zach forward. The nurse handed him the swaddled infant and Zach almost forgot to breathe for a second as he looked down at the baby in his arms.
Chris stepped in close and touched the baby reverently and looked up to see moisture glistening in Zach’s eyes.
“Our son,” Chris breathed, and Zach had to hand him the baby then so he could turn to wipe his tears on his sleeve.
*
“Support his head!”
“I know, Chris. Give me a little credit here, you’ve been making me practice on a Cabbage Patch Kid for the last two months.”
“Yeah. Sorry about that, by the way. I just realized how not like a Cabbage Patch Kid this actually is.”
“Thank you.”
*
“Chris, stop poking him.”
“I can’t! God, look at him. He’s so perfect.”
“He’s going to be perfectly pissed off when you wake him up by poking him.”
Chris tucked his hands under his chin as they watched Jesse sleep, tiny and perfect between them on the bed.
“So far, so good, right?” Chris asked, quietly.
“So far. Maybe someday you’ll even be able to change him without destroying three diapers first.”
“Shut up. It’s a lot different than a Cabbage Patch doll.”
“I’m honestly not sure which one of you is cuter right now,” Zach said, leaning over Jesse to kiss Chris on the lips.
“Zach?”
“Yeah?”
“What did your mom say when you called her today?”
“She said ‘Don’t worry, Zach. Chris has everything under control.’”
Chris laughed. “Oh god. Does she even know me?”
“She knows you all too well, I’d say. Why, what did your mom say?”
“She said not to worry, that I wouldn’t be doing this alone. That you’d be there every step of the way with me.”
“Awww, so sweet.”
“I was like, ‘Mom, you could’ve at least tried to say something comforting!’”
“Shut up, you fucker,” Zach said, punching Chris in the shoulder, laughing as Chris lunged to protect the baby’s ears from Zach’s profanity.
Jesse squirmed at Chris’s touch, opened his eyes, and started wailing.
Date Night
“Why do I feel like I’m in high school picking a girl up for our first date?” Zach asked, spinning his keys around a finger as he leaned against his car door.
“No idea,” Chris said, shrugging on his jacket. “You wanna give my dad a call and tell him you’ll get me home on time?”
“Who says I will,” Zach said with a sly smile.
“Uncle Joe, that’s who. We have to be back here by 10:00, he said. He’s got a hot date or something.”
“You’re not just saying that so you can get rid of me early?”
“That, too,” Chris said, and they climbed into the car.
*
Chris looked at his plate and the table and the fishtank along the wall of the restaurant. He took a deep breath and bit his lip and finally looked at Zach and said, “Do you know how to make one of those volcano things? Because the science fair’s coming up and Jesse wants to-“
“Twelve minutes,” Zach said, looking at his watch. “So close, Chris. So close.”
“Dammit!”
“I win.”
“What was the bet again?”
“If you can’t go fifteen minutes without talking about the kids, I decide where we go for dessert.”
“That seems like a rather harmless bet, Zachary,” Chris said, pointing his fork at Zach. “I don’t trust you.”
“Regardless, I was right, and now that the barrier is broken, I have no idea how to make a volcano thingy, but I will learn from my esteemed science mentor, Google.”
“And then you’ll make it for Jesse?”
“Maybe I would have if you’d won the bet.”
“I hate you.”
“No you don’t.”
Chris put a forkful of salad in his mouth and chewed defiantly at Zach.
**
“Oh look, it’s 9:45. Guess we don’t have time to go for dessert,” Chris said with a smirk as they got in the car.
“Yeah, well, guess what. For dessert we’re getting a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and going to your house.”
“Fuck, I knew you had something devious planned.”
“Only you would see eating ice cream out of the container as devious.”
“That’s not what I meant, asshole.”
“I hope you don’t use that kind of language around the kids,” Zach said, mock-scolding.
“No, I save it all for you, baby,” Chris said, and they both got quiet then as something uncomfortably like memories filled the car.
**
After the kids were in bed, checked on, and kissed, and Uncle Joe was sent off to his midnight booty call, Chris and Zach sat quietly on a bench in the backyard, passing a pint of Cherry Garcia between them. After a while, Zach set the carton down and rested his elbows on his knees.
“I’ve been trying to remember,” he started, softly, and Chris listened even though it sounded like Zach was talking to himself. “What went wrong? How did this not work, Chris?”
Chris leaned back against the wall of the house. “I don’t know. We were so angry, all the time.”
“We gave up, I think.”
Chris inhaled sharply. It was something he’d considered, too, but he’d never admitted it to Zach and tried not to dwell on it himself when the thought crept into his head, dripping with blame and heartache.
“I wouldn’t have thought it of us,” Zach said, standing up. “I’m gonna go.”
Chris reached for his hand and stood and wrapped his arms around Zach, and Zach hugged him back.
“Do you want to kiss me?” Zach asked, his voice soft at Chris’s ear.
Chris shut his eyes. “More than anything,” he murmured.
“So why don’t you?”
“Self –preservation,” Chris said, honestly.
“Chris,” Zach whispered, “stop doing this.”
Chris stepped back, sliding his arms from around Zach’s shoulders, until Zach caught him by the wrists and put his arms back where they’d been, and he pressed his face into Chris’s neck and mumbled that he was sorry, he was sorry and that this was enough.
They held each other quietly, until Zach broke the silence. “I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to,” he told Chris.
“I don’t,” Chris said. “And if I recall, that was always part of the problem.”
Visit Home
“I just thought, you know, maybe we could spend these four days that you’re home not fighting.”
Zach ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. “I’m not trying to fight with you, Chris. I just, I had this idea in my mind of what it would be like.”
“What would it be like?”
“Like, we’d spend the days hanging with the boys and the nights fucking like we haven’t seen each other in weeks.”
“Is that what this is about? What about the night you got home?”
“Yeah, that was great, but honestly I was exhausted and I was practically passing out during,” Zach admitted.
“Wow, I’m flattered. Thanks. That really makes me want to jump right back into bed with you.”
“Chris, what is wrong with you? When you were gone, I didn’t turn into some mopey recluse. When was the last time you went out, Chris?”
“Make up your mind, Zach. Do you want me to go out and party it up and barf on some guy’s shoes, or do you want me to stay home and be a dad until you get back, then send the kids to my parents and fuck like bunnies for three days?”
“Chris, that is not fair. Look, I know that you’re…frustrated that I’m gone, okay? And I’m sorry, and actually, why am I always the one apologizing? I’m not the only one at fault here, Chris. I just…it feels like we’ve lost our wavelength, right? We’re not on the same page, or something. But we just need to get through this and everything will go back to the way it was.”
Chris ran a hand over his face and wondered why he felt that with every word out of their mouths, the way it was was slipping further and further away.
(Continued)
Author:
therumjournalsFandom: Star Trek RPF
Pairing: Chris/Zach
Word Count: 1,600
Rating: PG-13
Description: Taking care of the kids turns out to be the easiest part.
Coffee Fix 'verse series and timeline
Warnings: angsty, ovary-melting, and out of order
A/N: Seriously, don’t blame me if you get pregnant just by reading the first part of this. I’m gonna have quadruplets by the time I’m finished writing this thing.
A/N2: Icon from
ewinfic because it was just too perfect.Birth
“Oh my god, oh my god, this is crazy. Zach, are we insane?”
Zach stopped pacing for a second to look at Chris. “Yes. We’re insane.”
“No! You’re not supposed to agree with me! You’re supposed to say it’s going to be okay, we’re going to be fine, we’re going to be great at this.”
At least, that had been the pattern over the past seven months, ever since the adoption agency had called to let them know. Chris would have a minor breakdown just walking through the diaper aisle, and Zach would Google diaper reviews and print out the results from Consumer Reports. Zach would stand paralyzed in the nursery, looking helplessly between the seafoam green and mint color strips and Chris would pull them gently out of his hand and say fuck it, they were going with pistachio like they’d already decided, and Zach wasn’t allowed to go to Home Depot anymore.
But now, at the key moment, as they waited nervously, Zach pacing and Chris fidgeting in his seat, they were at a loss. Zach pulled out his phone just as Chris started dialing his, and they smiled at each other across the room as their conversations began the same way – “Mom, tell me I can do this.”
When they hung up they looked at each other and laughed and Chris stood up and they hugged and then the doctor came out and told them “Okay, it’s time.”
*
“Who wants to hold him first?” the nurse asked, and Chris nudged Zach forward. The nurse handed him the swaddled infant and Zach almost forgot to breathe for a second as he looked down at the baby in his arms.
Chris stepped in close and touched the baby reverently and looked up to see moisture glistening in Zach’s eyes.
“Our son,” Chris breathed, and Zach had to hand him the baby then so he could turn to wipe his tears on his sleeve.
*
“Support his head!”
“I know, Chris. Give me a little credit here, you’ve been making me practice on a Cabbage Patch Kid for the last two months.”
“Yeah. Sorry about that, by the way. I just realized how not like a Cabbage Patch Kid this actually is.”
“Thank you.”
*
“Chris, stop poking him.”
“I can’t! God, look at him. He’s so perfect.”
“He’s going to be perfectly pissed off when you wake him up by poking him.”
Chris tucked his hands under his chin as they watched Jesse sleep, tiny and perfect between them on the bed.
“So far, so good, right?” Chris asked, quietly.
“So far. Maybe someday you’ll even be able to change him without destroying three diapers first.”
“Shut up. It’s a lot different than a Cabbage Patch doll.”
“I’m honestly not sure which one of you is cuter right now,” Zach said, leaning over Jesse to kiss Chris on the lips.
“Zach?”
“Yeah?”
“What did your mom say when you called her today?”
“She said ‘Don’t worry, Zach. Chris has everything under control.’”
Chris laughed. “Oh god. Does she even know me?”
“She knows you all too well, I’d say. Why, what did your mom say?”
“She said not to worry, that I wouldn’t be doing this alone. That you’d be there every step of the way with me.”
“Awww, so sweet.”
“I was like, ‘Mom, you could’ve at least tried to say something comforting!’”
“Shut up, you fucker,” Zach said, punching Chris in the shoulder, laughing as Chris lunged to protect the baby’s ears from Zach’s profanity.
Jesse squirmed at Chris’s touch, opened his eyes, and started wailing.
Date Night
“Why do I feel like I’m in high school picking a girl up for our first date?” Zach asked, spinning his keys around a finger as he leaned against his car door.
“No idea,” Chris said, shrugging on his jacket. “You wanna give my dad a call and tell him you’ll get me home on time?”
“Who says I will,” Zach said with a sly smile.
“Uncle Joe, that’s who. We have to be back here by 10:00, he said. He’s got a hot date or something.”
“You’re not just saying that so you can get rid of me early?”
“That, too,” Chris said, and they climbed into the car.
*
Chris looked at his plate and the table and the fishtank along the wall of the restaurant. He took a deep breath and bit his lip and finally looked at Zach and said, “Do you know how to make one of those volcano things? Because the science fair’s coming up and Jesse wants to-“
“Twelve minutes,” Zach said, looking at his watch. “So close, Chris. So close.”
“Dammit!”
“I win.”
“What was the bet again?”
“If you can’t go fifteen minutes without talking about the kids, I decide where we go for dessert.”
“That seems like a rather harmless bet, Zachary,” Chris said, pointing his fork at Zach. “I don’t trust you.”
“Regardless, I was right, and now that the barrier is broken, I have no idea how to make a volcano thingy, but I will learn from my esteemed science mentor, Google.”
“And then you’ll make it for Jesse?”
“Maybe I would have if you’d won the bet.”
“I hate you.”
“No you don’t.”
Chris put a forkful of salad in his mouth and chewed defiantly at Zach.
**
“Oh look, it’s 9:45. Guess we don’t have time to go for dessert,” Chris said with a smirk as they got in the car.
“Yeah, well, guess what. For dessert we’re getting a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and going to your house.”
“Fuck, I knew you had something devious planned.”
“Only you would see eating ice cream out of the container as devious.”
“That’s not what I meant, asshole.”
“I hope you don’t use that kind of language around the kids,” Zach said, mock-scolding.
“No, I save it all for you, baby,” Chris said, and they both got quiet then as something uncomfortably like memories filled the car.
**
After the kids were in bed, checked on, and kissed, and Uncle Joe was sent off to his midnight booty call, Chris and Zach sat quietly on a bench in the backyard, passing a pint of Cherry Garcia between them. After a while, Zach set the carton down and rested his elbows on his knees.
“I’ve been trying to remember,” he started, softly, and Chris listened even though it sounded like Zach was talking to himself. “What went wrong? How did this not work, Chris?”
Chris leaned back against the wall of the house. “I don’t know. We were so angry, all the time.”
“We gave up, I think.”
Chris inhaled sharply. It was something he’d considered, too, but he’d never admitted it to Zach and tried not to dwell on it himself when the thought crept into his head, dripping with blame and heartache.
“I wouldn’t have thought it of us,” Zach said, standing up. “I’m gonna go.”
Chris reached for his hand and stood and wrapped his arms around Zach, and Zach hugged him back.
“Do you want to kiss me?” Zach asked, his voice soft at Chris’s ear.
Chris shut his eyes. “More than anything,” he murmured.
“So why don’t you?”
“Self –preservation,” Chris said, honestly.
“Chris,” Zach whispered, “stop doing this.”
Chris stepped back, sliding his arms from around Zach’s shoulders, until Zach caught him by the wrists and put his arms back where they’d been, and he pressed his face into Chris’s neck and mumbled that he was sorry, he was sorry and that this was enough.
They held each other quietly, until Zach broke the silence. “I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to,” he told Chris.
“I don’t,” Chris said. “And if I recall, that was always part of the problem.”
Visit Home
“I just thought, you know, maybe we could spend these four days that you’re home not fighting.”
Zach ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. “I’m not trying to fight with you, Chris. I just, I had this idea in my mind of what it would be like.”
“What would it be like?”
“Like, we’d spend the days hanging with the boys and the nights fucking like we haven’t seen each other in weeks.”
“Is that what this is about? What about the night you got home?”
“Yeah, that was great, but honestly I was exhausted and I was practically passing out during,” Zach admitted.
“Wow, I’m flattered. Thanks. That really makes me want to jump right back into bed with you.”
“Chris, what is wrong with you? When you were gone, I didn’t turn into some mopey recluse. When was the last time you went out, Chris?”
“Make up your mind, Zach. Do you want me to go out and party it up and barf on some guy’s shoes, or do you want me to stay home and be a dad until you get back, then send the kids to my parents and fuck like bunnies for three days?”
“Chris, that is not fair. Look, I know that you’re…frustrated that I’m gone, okay? And I’m sorry, and actually, why am I always the one apologizing? I’m not the only one at fault here, Chris. I just…it feels like we’ve lost our wavelength, right? We’re not on the same page, or something. But we just need to get through this and everything will go back to the way it was.”
Chris ran a hand over his face and wondered why he felt that with every word out of their mouths, the way it was was slipping further and further away.
(Continued)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2010-04-28 01:36 am (UTC)I know I keep saying this but this is so tender and real. I LOVE IT! :)
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Date: 2010-04-28 02:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-28 02:26 am (UTC)the icon is from Heroes, and i stole it from
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Date: 2010-04-28 12:23 pm (UTC)BTW, I re-read it right now because I liked it so much. This fic has quickly turned into my, "oh.my.god.have.to.read."
And while I've never seen Heroes, that icon is about the cutest thing EVER! :)