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therumjournalsTitle: The Universe Rule
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
therumjournals
Fandom: Star Trek XI / Star Trek RPF Crossover
Pairings: Karl Urban/Jim Kirk, pre-Karl/Chris, pre-Kirk/McCoy
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2,880
Summary: Jim Kirk really is that charming.
Author’s Note: Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
jim_and_bones Worlds Collide Crossover Challenge. Prompt: “An actor is doing a scene and there is an accident. He wakes up in the world of the movie, but he's still himself and not his character. He meets his character or Character 2.”
“Okay, now remember, you hate transporters, they scare the shit out of you. You’re trying not to show it, but you’re basically just freaking the fuck out right now.”
“Freaking the fuck out, got it,” Karl confirmed, absorbing JJ’s direction, clenching and unclenching his fists at his sides as he stood on the transporter set.
“Action,” JJ called, and Karl squeezed his eyes shut, imagining the pure terror he’d feel, were he preparing to have his atoms pulled apart and put back together for the very first time. What would it feel like, the process itself? Kind of…tingly? Karl felt a prickling sensation in his limbs, something like a low current of electricity up his spine. He could feel his hair standing on end and was wondering if a wire had come loose somewhere on set when the platform shuddered violently. His knees buckled beneath him, and he crumpled to the ground just as everything around him went dark.
“Bones? BONES?”
Karl heard Chris’s voice above him, faint at first, growing louder as he slowly regained consciousness. He blinked his eyes open and flinched. Chris was peering down at him, his face startlingly close. “Bones!” His breath was warm against Karl’s cheeks, his shockingly blue eyes wide with relief.
It was too much. Karl brought a hand up to shove weakly at his shoulder. “The fuck, Chris, give me some space,” he said, half-laughing as he attempted to sit up.
Chris gripped his shoulders and pushed him back down, staring into his face with an intensity that bordered on amusing. “Bones, it’s me,” he said earnestly. “It’s me, it’s Jim. JIM. KIRK.”
Karl rolled his eyes and tried again to push himself up into a sitting position. “Yeah, okay, I got it. Can we cut so I can get a drink of water or something?” His eyes flicked past Chris’s shoulder and he frowned as he finally took in his surroundings. Gone were the cameras, the bright lights and the tangle of wires that usually snaked throughout the set, which Karl believed were partially responsible for his involuntary presence on the floor of the transporter room. Transporter room? He looked around, confirming his initial impression. It was as though while he was out, they’d somehow built the rest of the transporter room set around him, complete with three extras he didn’t recognize gawking in his direction.
“Where’s JJ?”
“Who?”
“JJ? Our director?”
“Director?” Chris mouthed silently, his face squinching up in confusion. He set a tentative hand on Karl’s shoulder, giving a squeeze as gentle as the tone of his voice as he murmured, “I think you might have bumped your head.”
*
“So, you’re not Dr. Leonard McCoy, CMO of the Enterprise?”
“No. I’m Karl Urban. Actor of the, uh…movies.”
“Uh huh.” Chris, or Jim or whoever, still looked skeptical. “Is that why you’re talking all weird?”
“I’m not talking weird. I’m from New Zealand.”
Karl’s exasperation grew as a familiar grin spread across Kirk’s face.
“What’re you grinning about?”
“I don’t know what kind of amnesia you’ve got, Bones, but it’s freakin’ adorable.”
Karl threw his hands up. “It’s not amnesia! And stop calling me Bones, my name is Karl.”
“Yeah, yeah, and you play Bones in the movies, uh huh, I got it.”
“Do you?”
“No.” Jim leaned forward. “Prove it.”
“What?”
“I need proof that you’re not Bones.”
“And I need proof that I haven’t lost my fucking mind.”
Jim glanced around, grabbed an important looking medical apparatus from the counter, and began pressing buttons.
Karl raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think you should mess with that. You know Russ will kick your ass if you fuck up the props.”
Jim fumbled with the device, nearly dropping it before he managed to set it back down on the counter, his heart pounding. “Shit. You’re really not Bones, are you?”
“Wow, Jim Kirk really is a genius,” Karl said, sitting up on the biobed as Jim scowled at him. “Is there a bathroom anywhere on this trumped up set?”
Jim walked him to the bathroom and, after Karl poked ineffectively at a few buttons, showed him how to open the door. “And, um, you, ya know, go, over there,” he said, pointing toward what looked a lot like a space urinal.
“Thanks, I think I can take it from here.”
Jim put a hand on the doorframe and leaned in. “Sure you don’t need any help?” he said, waggling an eyebrow.
“You really are as shameless as they say, aren’t you?” Karl muttered.
Jim laughed and stepped back out into the hall, spreading his arms. “My reputation precedes me, through time and space!”
*
Karl let Jim lead him down the long, curving hall. The low hum of the ship’s engines, the realistic beeping and booping of computer panels, and the focused look of assorted crewmembers striding toward their destinations were slowly convincing him that this really was some sort of real life Starship Enterprise. Plus, he thought, as Jim glanced back at him with an encouraging smile, there was no way Chris would be able to stay in character for this long.
They stopped in front of another door, which slid open to reveal a field of stars.
“The Observation Deck,” Karl breathed, stepping inside as the door slid shut behind them. The wall opposite was a long, unbroken window into space, stars and galaxies twinkling before him. He felt a rush of adrenaline flood through his veins at the sight – this was neither darkness nor silence, he thought, giddy with excitement. He crossed the room quickly, touching his fingers to the cool surface, leaning forward until he could see nothing but stars. “Phenomenal.”
Behind him, Jim felt a familiar swooping sensation in the pit of his stomach, a feeling that he recognized from his first time standing on this deck, long before the view out the window had become as familiar to him as the open blue skies of his childhood. But this…this not-Bones, this Karl guy, pressing his awestruck face to the window, the starlight catching on his tousled hair...this was something new, and almost as beautiful as the stars to behold.
Jim let himself watch for another moment before he moved, approaching slowly so as not to startle Karl as he came up beside him.
“So,” Jim said, casually, touching his finger to the window to trace a pattern in the stars, “are you married, Mr. Urban?”
“I am.” As he said it, he felt an acute sense of distance, spiraling out away from him into the stars. He was used to distance, the type between Auckland and Los Angeles, but this was something entirely different. Time and space and all possible worlds stretched out between this moment and the rest of his life.
Kirk acknowledged Karl’s answer with a short, curt nod, and a silence settled heavily between them. Karl fished for something to say.
“Where was Vulcan?”
Maybe that hadn’t been the best choice. He felt Jim stiffen beside him, and wondered how quickly he could change the subject .
“Is that what your movie was about?”
“The first one, yeah.”
“Weird.”
Karl glanced at Jim. “So…are Spock and Uhura really together, or was that just something the script writers made up for added drama?”
Jim chuckled. “Yeah, that part’s true. And gross.” He met Karl’s eyes. “Did I get a love story?”
“Well…not officially.”
Jim raised an eyebrow. “Meaning…”
Karl hesitated, but he had to know. “I wasn’t going to ask you this, but…there’s some speculation that you and your friend Dr. McCoy might have been, uh, romantically involved…?”
“Romantically involved? With BONES?!” Kirk dissolved into a fit of laughter.
“Honestly,” Karl blustered, slightly miffed at Jim’s reaction, “it’s not that far-fetched.”
“Bones?” Jim wheezed. “Romance?” He clutched his sides, shaking his head at Karl with something like pity in his eyes. “Bones doesn’t like me. I mean, he likes me, or…tolerates me, or whatever, but he doesn’t like like me! Also, Bones and romance go together like…like two things that do not go together. At all.”
“Fine,” Karl said with a shrug. “He just risked his career so he could bring you onto the Enterprise with him. I’m sure everyone does that.”
“It’s not like- I mean- Wait.”
“Uh huh. And he tear-asses into the transporter room, yelling your name, when you beamed back from the Narada.”
Jim bit his lip, considering. “He threw up on me the first day we met.”
“Did he? I always wondered about that.”
“He did. It was disgusting. He’ll have to come yelling my name several more times to make up for that little debacle.”
Karl snickered.
"No, I mean- fuck."
“Mm-hmm."
Jim's cheeks burned, and he felt a strange itch in his chest that he couldn’t seem to shake. He changed the subject abruptly, stretching his arm in front of Karl to indicate a point in space. “There.”
Karl looked into the void where Kirk was pointing. “There what?”
“That’s where Vulcan was.”
His arm bumped against Karl’s chest and their eyes met. He saw something flash in Karl’s eyes and dropped his arm.
“So are you, like, regular married, or Denobulan married?”
Karl squinted in confusion. “Uh. New Zealand married.”
“Right.” Jim crossed his arms and looked back at the stars. The flush had traveled from his cheeks to his chest, and he was finding it hard to draw a full breath.
Karl was watching him. “Chr- Jim.” Jim felt Karl’s eyes on him, but he couldn’t bring himself to look, arousal and embarrassment prickling across his skin. “Jim,” Karl said, his tone unexpectedly commanding. He stepped forward, reached out a hand to touch the back of Jim’s arm, closing his fingers around his bicep and giving a tug. Finally Jim turned toward him, and in a second the distance between them was gone, their mouths pressed together, open and urgent.
Karl tangled a hand in Jim’s hair, reached down with the other to grab a handful of round, inviting ass, and wondered what the fuck he was doing.
“Wait, Karl, what about your wife?”
Chris panted the question between kisses, and Karl disengaged his tongue long enough to answer. “I think in this case, the Universe Rule applies.”
“The Universe Rule?”
“Yeah, you know…if you’re in a different universe from your wife, it’s not considered cheating?”
“Oh. Awesome.”
Then they were kissing again, tongues sliding together as Karl pushed Jim back against the stars, dizzy with lust. He thrust their hips together, and Jim gasped and smiled and breathed, “My quarters?”
Karl laughed, shaking his head at the madness of it all. “Quarters, Christ…I’m on a fuckin’ starship.” Despite the galaxies he could see twinkling in the distance, throwing light across Jim’s golden hair like a halo, it still hadn’t quite sunk in.
But really, what did it matter where they were, who they were, when there was a hand on his dick and that voice, familiar and deep and sinful in his ear.
“Follow me.”
*
Inside the door of his quarters, Jim worked open Karl’s fly, groaning as his fingers brushed against skin.
“Fuck that’s hot.”
Karl quivered under the touch, his lips never leaving Jim’s skin as he murmured, “JJ has a strict no underwear policy.”
“Well you tell JJ I’m a fan.”
“I’ll be sure to pass on your compliments,” Karl managed, before Jim was mashing their mouths together again, fingers curling to tug at his cock, his pants still up around his thighs.
Karl tore at Kirk’s trousers, desperate to touch, to feel Jim’s pulse beneath his palm. They were stroking each other, bodies pressed together against the bulkhead, and Jim whimpered against him, fingers sliding as he clung to the back of his neck. “Karl, I want-“
“More, Jim, I know,” Karl gasped, stroking him faster, harder, almost to the point of pain, but he knew it was what Jim wanted, could feel it in the grip and twist on his own cock, and it was only a few seconds more before he came, shaking and shuddering as his hand slid in Kirk’s release. He collapsed against the captain, pinning him to the wall, laughing roughly against his jaw.
“Denobulan married,” he panted, as Jim nuzzled against his dimpled cheek. “I just got that.”
Jim smiled as he pulled Karl to the bed, and they fell onto it, breathing hard, rolling together to kiss and grapple with each other for a few minutes before their frantic movements slowed and they lay side by side, fallen into a contemplative silence.
Karl closed his eyes, because it was easier that way. Easier to imagine that he was relaxing in his trailer, waiting to film his next scene, and not millions or gazillions of miles into space in the Captain’s Quarters on the fucking actual Enterprise. Then again - he opened his eyes and turned his head – how easy it had been, to pretend that it was Jim Kirk that he was falling for…
“So, what happens?”
Karl startled at the sound of Jim’s voice, breaking the silence.
“What?”
Jim looked at him, earnest, curious. “You said you’re making another movie. What happens with me and Bones?”
“How should I know? I’m an actor, not a fortune teller.”
Jim’s lips quirked up in a smile. “Stay a while longer?”
The prospect wasn’t unappealing. They’d barely gotten their hands on each other, and already Karl knew he wanted more. And who knew what he could expect after he got back.
The thought made his stomach drop, and he turned onto his side, moving easily, comfortably into Jim’s embrace. “Until Spock and Scotty figure out how to get me back home.”
“Mmm.” He felt Jim wrap around him, a hand slipping beneath his waistband, eager fingers rubbing into his sweat-slick crack. He twitched closer. “D’you think they'd mind,” Jim whispered, “if I gave them the week off?”
∅ ∅ ∅
“Captain of your ass? He actually used that phrase?”
Chris had been remarkably willing to accept Karl’s story as the truth. And he was now having way too much fun giving Karl shit for falling for Captain Kirk. “So, while you were holed up in Kirk’s quarters during this week of hedonistic bliss-“
“It was more like 48 hours,” Karl corrected.
“Uh huh. And while you and Kirk were busy sticking your dicks in each other, grunting and sweating and rubbing your manly musk all over each other, fighting for dominance, bodies twined together as your pleasure crested and peaked-“
Karl squirmed a little, his cock swelling at the memories, the images made all the more arousing by the crude words falling from Chris’s full lips.
“-where was the real Dr. McCoy during all of this?” Chris finished.
“Trapped in the pattern buffer.”
“The what?” Chris looked confused, and Karl rolled his eyes.
“You need to watch more Star Trek, mate.”
“And Kirk wasn’t, like, freaking out that his good buddy Bones was missing?”
Karl shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t think he was ever completely convinced that I wasn’t Bones. Until Spock and Scotty crossed some wires and he showed up cursing a blue streak on the transporter pad.”
“Yikes. He must have been scared out of his mind.”
“Oh, he had no idea. He had no idea any time had passed. He just fucking hates transporters.”
“What happened when you two met? Was there, like, a disturbance in the Force?”
Karl ran a hand over his face and gave Chris an exasperated look. “Honestly, how did you even get this job?”
Chris winked at him. “Star Wars, I know. I just think it’s cute when you get all worked up about the science fiction.”
“I hate you.”
“Answer the question.”
“Well, first he wanted to haul me to sickbay for a full exam, blood samples, DNA tests, the works. Then he saw how Kirk was looking at me, and suddenly he was perfectly keen to put me on the transporter pad and let Spock and Scotty test out their repairs. I don’t really think he gave a toss where I ended up, either.”
“Ha! I knew it!”
“Yeah, yeah. Kirk/McCoy forever,” Karl drawled.
“Zach’s gonna so be pissed,” Chris said, grinning gleefully at the thought. “I wonder if he’ll still play Spock as a sexually frustrated first officer, denying his homosexual urges towards his captain.”
“Doubt he has much choice,” Karl murmured under his breath.
Chris glanced at Karl out of the corner of his eye. “Is it weird? Now that you’re back here, thinking about how you did all that stuff with me? Or, well…me-ish.”
“It’s a bit odd, yes.”
“Captain of your ass, hmmm? I might have to use that one.”
Karl’s eyebrow shot up, the flutter of interest in his stomach suddenly a little more noticeable. “On who?”
Chris bit his lip and set a tentative hand on Karl’s knee.
“I’m a married man, Chris,” Karl reminded him, hoping desperately that Chris would find the fact as inconsequential as he did in that moment.
“Nat won’t mind,” Chris assured him confidently. “And anyway, the Hemisphere Rule applies.”
Karl gave him a slow and obvious once over. He smiled back at Chris with a twinkle in his eye. “Put on the uniform, Captain, and we’ll talk.”
Author:
therumjournalsFandom: Star Trek XI / Star Trek RPF Crossover
Pairings: Karl Urban/Jim Kirk, pre-Karl/Chris, pre-Kirk/McCoy
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2,880
Summary: Jim Kirk really is that charming.
Author’s Note: Written for
jim_and_bones Worlds Collide Crossover Challenge. Prompt: “An actor is doing a scene and there is an accident. He wakes up in the world of the movie, but he's still himself and not his character. He meets his character or Character 2.”“Okay, now remember, you hate transporters, they scare the shit out of you. You’re trying not to show it, but you’re basically just freaking the fuck out right now.”
“Freaking the fuck out, got it,” Karl confirmed, absorbing JJ’s direction, clenching and unclenching his fists at his sides as he stood on the transporter set.
“Action,” JJ called, and Karl squeezed his eyes shut, imagining the pure terror he’d feel, were he preparing to have his atoms pulled apart and put back together for the very first time. What would it feel like, the process itself? Kind of…tingly? Karl felt a prickling sensation in his limbs, something like a low current of electricity up his spine. He could feel his hair standing on end and was wondering if a wire had come loose somewhere on set when the platform shuddered violently. His knees buckled beneath him, and he crumpled to the ground just as everything around him went dark.
“Bones? BONES?”
Karl heard Chris’s voice above him, faint at first, growing louder as he slowly regained consciousness. He blinked his eyes open and flinched. Chris was peering down at him, his face startlingly close. “Bones!” His breath was warm against Karl’s cheeks, his shockingly blue eyes wide with relief.
It was too much. Karl brought a hand up to shove weakly at his shoulder. “The fuck, Chris, give me some space,” he said, half-laughing as he attempted to sit up.
Chris gripped his shoulders and pushed him back down, staring into his face with an intensity that bordered on amusing. “Bones, it’s me,” he said earnestly. “It’s me, it’s Jim. JIM. KIRK.”
Karl rolled his eyes and tried again to push himself up into a sitting position. “Yeah, okay, I got it. Can we cut so I can get a drink of water or something?” His eyes flicked past Chris’s shoulder and he frowned as he finally took in his surroundings. Gone were the cameras, the bright lights and the tangle of wires that usually snaked throughout the set, which Karl believed were partially responsible for his involuntary presence on the floor of the transporter room. Transporter room? He looked around, confirming his initial impression. It was as though while he was out, they’d somehow built the rest of the transporter room set around him, complete with three extras he didn’t recognize gawking in his direction.
“Where’s JJ?”
“Who?”
“JJ? Our director?”
“Director?” Chris mouthed silently, his face squinching up in confusion. He set a tentative hand on Karl’s shoulder, giving a squeeze as gentle as the tone of his voice as he murmured, “I think you might have bumped your head.”
*
“So, you’re not Dr. Leonard McCoy, CMO of the Enterprise?”
“No. I’m Karl Urban. Actor of the, uh…movies.”
“Uh huh.” Chris, or Jim or whoever, still looked skeptical. “Is that why you’re talking all weird?”
“I’m not talking weird. I’m from New Zealand.”
Karl’s exasperation grew as a familiar grin spread across Kirk’s face.
“What’re you grinning about?”
“I don’t know what kind of amnesia you’ve got, Bones, but it’s freakin’ adorable.”
Karl threw his hands up. “It’s not amnesia! And stop calling me Bones, my name is Karl.”
“Yeah, yeah, and you play Bones in the movies, uh huh, I got it.”
“Do you?”
“No.” Jim leaned forward. “Prove it.”
“What?”
“I need proof that you’re not Bones.”
“And I need proof that I haven’t lost my fucking mind.”
Jim glanced around, grabbed an important looking medical apparatus from the counter, and began pressing buttons.
Karl raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think you should mess with that. You know Russ will kick your ass if you fuck up the props.”
Jim fumbled with the device, nearly dropping it before he managed to set it back down on the counter, his heart pounding. “Shit. You’re really not Bones, are you?”
“Wow, Jim Kirk really is a genius,” Karl said, sitting up on the biobed as Jim scowled at him. “Is there a bathroom anywhere on this trumped up set?”
Jim walked him to the bathroom and, after Karl poked ineffectively at a few buttons, showed him how to open the door. “And, um, you, ya know, go, over there,” he said, pointing toward what looked a lot like a space urinal.
“Thanks, I think I can take it from here.”
Jim put a hand on the doorframe and leaned in. “Sure you don’t need any help?” he said, waggling an eyebrow.
“You really are as shameless as they say, aren’t you?” Karl muttered.
Jim laughed and stepped back out into the hall, spreading his arms. “My reputation precedes me, through time and space!”
*
Karl let Jim lead him down the long, curving hall. The low hum of the ship’s engines, the realistic beeping and booping of computer panels, and the focused look of assorted crewmembers striding toward their destinations were slowly convincing him that this really was some sort of real life Starship Enterprise. Plus, he thought, as Jim glanced back at him with an encouraging smile, there was no way Chris would be able to stay in character for this long.
They stopped in front of another door, which slid open to reveal a field of stars.
“The Observation Deck,” Karl breathed, stepping inside as the door slid shut behind them. The wall opposite was a long, unbroken window into space, stars and galaxies twinkling before him. He felt a rush of adrenaline flood through his veins at the sight – this was neither darkness nor silence, he thought, giddy with excitement. He crossed the room quickly, touching his fingers to the cool surface, leaning forward until he could see nothing but stars. “Phenomenal.”
Behind him, Jim felt a familiar swooping sensation in the pit of his stomach, a feeling that he recognized from his first time standing on this deck, long before the view out the window had become as familiar to him as the open blue skies of his childhood. But this…this not-Bones, this Karl guy, pressing his awestruck face to the window, the starlight catching on his tousled hair...this was something new, and almost as beautiful as the stars to behold.
Jim let himself watch for another moment before he moved, approaching slowly so as not to startle Karl as he came up beside him.
“So,” Jim said, casually, touching his finger to the window to trace a pattern in the stars, “are you married, Mr. Urban?”
“I am.” As he said it, he felt an acute sense of distance, spiraling out away from him into the stars. He was used to distance, the type between Auckland and Los Angeles, but this was something entirely different. Time and space and all possible worlds stretched out between this moment and the rest of his life.
Kirk acknowledged Karl’s answer with a short, curt nod, and a silence settled heavily between them. Karl fished for something to say.
“Where was Vulcan?”
Maybe that hadn’t been the best choice. He felt Jim stiffen beside him, and wondered how quickly he could change the subject .
“Is that what your movie was about?”
“The first one, yeah.”
“Weird.”
Karl glanced at Jim. “So…are Spock and Uhura really together, or was that just something the script writers made up for added drama?”
Jim chuckled. “Yeah, that part’s true. And gross.” He met Karl’s eyes. “Did I get a love story?”
“Well…not officially.”
Jim raised an eyebrow. “Meaning…”
Karl hesitated, but he had to know. “I wasn’t going to ask you this, but…there’s some speculation that you and your friend Dr. McCoy might have been, uh, romantically involved…?”
“Romantically involved? With BONES?!” Kirk dissolved into a fit of laughter.
“Honestly,” Karl blustered, slightly miffed at Jim’s reaction, “it’s not that far-fetched.”
“Bones?” Jim wheezed. “Romance?” He clutched his sides, shaking his head at Karl with something like pity in his eyes. “Bones doesn’t like me. I mean, he likes me, or…tolerates me, or whatever, but he doesn’t like like me! Also, Bones and romance go together like…like two things that do not go together. At all.”
“Fine,” Karl said with a shrug. “He just risked his career so he could bring you onto the Enterprise with him. I’m sure everyone does that.”
“It’s not like- I mean- Wait.”
“Uh huh. And he tear-asses into the transporter room, yelling your name, when you beamed back from the Narada.”
Jim bit his lip, considering. “He threw up on me the first day we met.”
“Did he? I always wondered about that.”
“He did. It was disgusting. He’ll have to come yelling my name several more times to make up for that little debacle.”
Karl snickered.
"No, I mean- fuck."
“Mm-hmm."
Jim's cheeks burned, and he felt a strange itch in his chest that he couldn’t seem to shake. He changed the subject abruptly, stretching his arm in front of Karl to indicate a point in space. “There.”
Karl looked into the void where Kirk was pointing. “There what?”
“That’s where Vulcan was.”
His arm bumped against Karl’s chest and their eyes met. He saw something flash in Karl’s eyes and dropped his arm.
“So are you, like, regular married, or Denobulan married?”
Karl squinted in confusion. “Uh. New Zealand married.”
“Right.” Jim crossed his arms and looked back at the stars. The flush had traveled from his cheeks to his chest, and he was finding it hard to draw a full breath.
Karl was watching him. “Chr- Jim.” Jim felt Karl’s eyes on him, but he couldn’t bring himself to look, arousal and embarrassment prickling across his skin. “Jim,” Karl said, his tone unexpectedly commanding. He stepped forward, reached out a hand to touch the back of Jim’s arm, closing his fingers around his bicep and giving a tug. Finally Jim turned toward him, and in a second the distance between them was gone, their mouths pressed together, open and urgent.
Karl tangled a hand in Jim’s hair, reached down with the other to grab a handful of round, inviting ass, and wondered what the fuck he was doing.
“Wait, Karl, what about your wife?”
Chris panted the question between kisses, and Karl disengaged his tongue long enough to answer. “I think in this case, the Universe Rule applies.”
“The Universe Rule?”
“Yeah, you know…if you’re in a different universe from your wife, it’s not considered cheating?”
“Oh. Awesome.”
Then they were kissing again, tongues sliding together as Karl pushed Jim back against the stars, dizzy with lust. He thrust their hips together, and Jim gasped and smiled and breathed, “My quarters?”
Karl laughed, shaking his head at the madness of it all. “Quarters, Christ…I’m on a fuckin’ starship.” Despite the galaxies he could see twinkling in the distance, throwing light across Jim’s golden hair like a halo, it still hadn’t quite sunk in.
But really, what did it matter where they were, who they were, when there was a hand on his dick and that voice, familiar and deep and sinful in his ear.
“Follow me.”
*
Inside the door of his quarters, Jim worked open Karl’s fly, groaning as his fingers brushed against skin.
“Fuck that’s hot.”
Karl quivered under the touch, his lips never leaving Jim’s skin as he murmured, “JJ has a strict no underwear policy.”
“Well you tell JJ I’m a fan.”
“I’ll be sure to pass on your compliments,” Karl managed, before Jim was mashing their mouths together again, fingers curling to tug at his cock, his pants still up around his thighs.
Karl tore at Kirk’s trousers, desperate to touch, to feel Jim’s pulse beneath his palm. They were stroking each other, bodies pressed together against the bulkhead, and Jim whimpered against him, fingers sliding as he clung to the back of his neck. “Karl, I want-“
“More, Jim, I know,” Karl gasped, stroking him faster, harder, almost to the point of pain, but he knew it was what Jim wanted, could feel it in the grip and twist on his own cock, and it was only a few seconds more before he came, shaking and shuddering as his hand slid in Kirk’s release. He collapsed against the captain, pinning him to the wall, laughing roughly against his jaw.
“Denobulan married,” he panted, as Jim nuzzled against his dimpled cheek. “I just got that.”
Jim smiled as he pulled Karl to the bed, and they fell onto it, breathing hard, rolling together to kiss and grapple with each other for a few minutes before their frantic movements slowed and they lay side by side, fallen into a contemplative silence.
Karl closed his eyes, because it was easier that way. Easier to imagine that he was relaxing in his trailer, waiting to film his next scene, and not millions or gazillions of miles into space in the Captain’s Quarters on the fucking actual Enterprise. Then again - he opened his eyes and turned his head – how easy it had been, to pretend that it was Jim Kirk that he was falling for…
“So, what happens?”
Karl startled at the sound of Jim’s voice, breaking the silence.
“What?”
Jim looked at him, earnest, curious. “You said you’re making another movie. What happens with me and Bones?”
“How should I know? I’m an actor, not a fortune teller.”
Jim’s lips quirked up in a smile. “Stay a while longer?”
The prospect wasn’t unappealing. They’d barely gotten their hands on each other, and already Karl knew he wanted more. And who knew what he could expect after he got back.
The thought made his stomach drop, and he turned onto his side, moving easily, comfortably into Jim’s embrace. “Until Spock and Scotty figure out how to get me back home.”
“Mmm.” He felt Jim wrap around him, a hand slipping beneath his waistband, eager fingers rubbing into his sweat-slick crack. He twitched closer. “D’you think they'd mind,” Jim whispered, “if I gave them the week off?”
“Captain of your ass? He actually used that phrase?”
Chris had been remarkably willing to accept Karl’s story as the truth. And he was now having way too much fun giving Karl shit for falling for Captain Kirk. “So, while you were holed up in Kirk’s quarters during this week of hedonistic bliss-“
“It was more like 48 hours,” Karl corrected.
“Uh huh. And while you and Kirk were busy sticking your dicks in each other, grunting and sweating and rubbing your manly musk all over each other, fighting for dominance, bodies twined together as your pleasure crested and peaked-“
Karl squirmed a little, his cock swelling at the memories, the images made all the more arousing by the crude words falling from Chris’s full lips.
“-where was the real Dr. McCoy during all of this?” Chris finished.
“Trapped in the pattern buffer.”
“The what?” Chris looked confused, and Karl rolled his eyes.
“You need to watch more Star Trek, mate.”
“And Kirk wasn’t, like, freaking out that his good buddy Bones was missing?”
Karl shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t think he was ever completely convinced that I wasn’t Bones. Until Spock and Scotty crossed some wires and he showed up cursing a blue streak on the transporter pad.”
“Yikes. He must have been scared out of his mind.”
“Oh, he had no idea. He had no idea any time had passed. He just fucking hates transporters.”
“What happened when you two met? Was there, like, a disturbance in the Force?”
Karl ran a hand over his face and gave Chris an exasperated look. “Honestly, how did you even get this job?”
Chris winked at him. “Star Wars, I know. I just think it’s cute when you get all worked up about the science fiction.”
“I hate you.”
“Answer the question.”
“Well, first he wanted to haul me to sickbay for a full exam, blood samples, DNA tests, the works. Then he saw how Kirk was looking at me, and suddenly he was perfectly keen to put me on the transporter pad and let Spock and Scotty test out their repairs. I don’t really think he gave a toss where I ended up, either.”
“Ha! I knew it!”
“Yeah, yeah. Kirk/McCoy forever,” Karl drawled.
“Zach’s gonna so be pissed,” Chris said, grinning gleefully at the thought. “I wonder if he’ll still play Spock as a sexually frustrated first officer, denying his homosexual urges towards his captain.”
“Doubt he has much choice,” Karl murmured under his breath.
Chris glanced at Karl out of the corner of his eye. “Is it weird? Now that you’re back here, thinking about how you did all that stuff with me? Or, well…me-ish.”
“It’s a bit odd, yes.”
“Captain of your ass, hmmm? I might have to use that one.”
Karl’s eyebrow shot up, the flutter of interest in his stomach suddenly a little more noticeable. “On who?”
Chris bit his lip and set a tentative hand on Karl’s knee.
“I’m a married man, Chris,” Karl reminded him, hoping desperately that Chris would find the fact as inconsequential as he did in that moment.
“Nat won’t mind,” Chris assured him confidently. “And anyway, the Hemisphere Rule applies.”
Karl gave him a slow and obvious once over. He smiled back at Chris with a twinkle in his eye. “Put on the uniform, Captain, and we’ll talk.”
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2011-09-19 04:39 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2011-09-19 12:33 pm (UTC)Nice!
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Date: 2011-09-19 09:05 pm (UTC)Universe Rulehemisphere rule.no subject
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Date: 2011-09-20 01:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-20 12:56 am (UTC)I’m Karl Urban. Actor of the, uh…movies.”
Of course Karl, being a Trek geek, does exactly what I'd do when he's on board the Big E: 1) look at the pretty view 2) freak out because he's ON BOARD THE ENTERPRISE, and 3) play tongue hockey with Kirk. If there's time, I'll replicate something or visit the engine room, but those are definitely the priorities.
That was hilariously fourth-wall-breaking, and I enjoyed it immensely.
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Date: 2011-09-20 01:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-20 02:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-20 02:47 am (UTC)OMG YOUR ICON IS...IT'S...HNNNNNGH *DIES*
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Date: 2011-09-20 11:43 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2011-09-20 10:15 pm (UTC)I especially loved how Karl was so excited to be on the Enterprise, how he does realize that it's not Kirk he's falling for, not really, and how he makes Kirk wake up to what's there with the actual Dr. McCoy.
I love the Universe and Hemisphere Rule, both!
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Date: 2011-09-23 01:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-20 10:33 pm (UTC)"me-ish", huh?
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Date: 2011-09-23 01:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-20 11:06 pm (UTC)The whole of this, every freakin’ word, done with such style, bb – I mean, not an easy concept but disbelief instantly suspended, and replaced with cheer-leading for the pairing of all time, yeah!
I just loved every word of this, but best thing, other than the stoking hot sex, the cuteness, the jokes, and how self-assured you are writing one funny line after another, well, it’s the Perfect Outcome - that this just made Karl end up with Chris and Jim end up with Bones. Win fucking win, bb!
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Date: 2011-09-23 01:48 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2011-10-29 12:47 am (UTC)THIS WAS LIKE 2,880 WORDS OF CHRISTMAS
MARRY ME
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Date: 2011-10-29 04:11 am (UTC)