OMG I LOVE YOU!! I think this has immediately jumped into my top ten all time favourite fics! So many wonderful parts that if I tried to list them I'd be here all night. If I did have to choose one though I think I'd go for "“Because my penis is so big,” he added in a mock-whisper" because I hear it in Kirk's "Alert medical" tone and enunciation.
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Did I say that I love you?